How do you teach your child the virtue of forgiveness?

Why is it important for a child to learn about forgiveness?  It keeps their heart clean and healthy.  Which is just as important as keeping their body healthy.  It builds self- respect and community skills.

We are sensitive creatures and Elementary School is the school of bumps and bruises in learning how to relate to others.  This week’s best friend can quickly become the betrayer, the liar, the ‘enemy’.

When a child makes a mistake, how do they make it right and move on?  … with forgiveness.

Here is The Virtues Project definition of Forgiveness:

Being forgiving is giving someone another chance after they have done something wrong.  Everyone makes mistakes.  Instead of revenge, make amends.  Instead of feeling hopeless after a mistake, decide to act differently and have faith that you can change.

This simple technique will give you something to do with your child that will help her/him learn how to forgive.

Remember we are all in this together and many times people don’t know how they hurt us.  We’re not talking about justice, about who was right or who was wrong; we’re making things right in our hearts.

Begin by letting your child tell the story.  Let them have their feelings about what happened.  Ask them if they are willing to forgive.  The Course in Miracles tells us that willingness is all that is required of us.

1. Have them close their eyes and see in their mind’s eye the person standing in front of them.
2. Have them repeat after you:
   I forgive ____________ (say their name or myself) for __________ (not being the kind of friend that I want right now, saying something mean, making a mistake, etc)
   I let God take this over now and to make it right.  I trust God to heal any hurt I feel in my heart.
   I promise to love myself and stop thinking about this.
   I forgive and I am free.
3. With their eyes still closed have them lift this person (or themselves) up, in their mind’s eye, and into the sky until they can’t see them any longer.  This simple motion will help them release.

Do this with your child as often as necessary, until they start doing it for themselves.

If there are amends that need to be made with another, start with this forgiveness exercise.  Help your child decide on what would be appropriate.  Keep it simple and in the heart.